David Brunner and Sam Stall

Pee stains on the carpet. Barking at all hours of the night. That embarrassing thing he does to the nearest leg. It's enough to make an owner cry out, "Why doesn't my dog come with an owner's manual?!"

For every desperate dog-lover who has uttered these words, here is the answer. The Dog Owner's Manual parodies traditional pet care manuals while delivering useful information in the form of schematic diagrams, techy trouble-shooting tips and diagnostic tests. The 11 sections in the book feature advice on selecting breeds, preparing the home, training, feeding, bathing and more.